Tag Archive for: Relocating

Third culture kids (TCKs) may need extra attention and help from their parents in making friends in a new country. Jinfeng Shen, Expat Nest’s Chinese-speaking counsellor, shares some useful tips for parents who want to support their kids to build strong friendships.

“My son, Henk, is five years old. Since our move to the Netherlands, he has attended an international primary school for six months. He has never been invited over to other classmates’ homes after school, and doesn’t want to invite any of his classmates to play at home either. When I encourage him to be more social, he refuses. When I invited the children of my friends over to play with him, he was unwilling to share and got angry easily when he didn’t get his way. What can I do to help my TCK make friends with other children?”

Stories like this are not uncommon among expat families. It’s a case of the third culture kid having difficulty making friends in a new environment. TCK for short, this term refers to children who spend a significant period of their developmental years in a culture outside that of their parents, and end up creating their own, unique ‘third’ culture.

As we know, childhood friendships are invaluable. Children acquire social skills through making friends, and these relationships foster a child’s sense of belonging and increase feelings of happiness. Since TCKs are living in a culture which is different from their parents’, it’s especially important for them to make friends so they can successfully adapt to a new culture and feel they belong.

Here are some ways you can support your third culture kid:

  • Give it time. Though it can be upsetting to see your child struggling and/or feeling lonely or left out, be sure not to jump in too quickly and “solve” things. This very normal transition period offers the opportunity to really understand your child’s emotions and give them space to adjust to the new country and establish a new routine, friends included.
  • Teach your child how to start a conversation and enter a group. One child may be very shy, while another barges into a group without waiting for an opening. Both will benefit from learning this important skill! You can teach your child a better way by role-playing: first you model these behaviours, then your child rehearses them. For example, try out this dialogue together: person A says: “Hey, that looks like an interesting game.” After person B responds, A asks: “Would you mind if I played with you?” If B refuses, A could say: “Okay, maybe next time. It could be fun if you want to come and make this puzzle with me.”
  • Play with your child to model social skills. Some children may lack the necessary skills of cooperation needed to make friends. You can help teach these by playing with them daily using cooperative toys or games like blocks, Lego or drawing together, while modelling social skills like taking turns, sharing, waiting, and giving compliments. When your child shows any of these behaviours, describe the behaviour and praise it. For example, “You’re waiting so patiently for me to put this block on the tower! That’s very nice of you.”
  • Help your child learn how to talk with a peer. Training in conversational skills can help children who are struggling to make friends. Through role playing and games, coach your child to learn skills like introducing oneself, listening and waiting to talk, asking other children about their feelings, taking turns in conversation, suggesting an idea, showing interest, praising others, saying thank you, apologising, and inviting someone to play. Practise only one or two of these skills at first, then prompt your child and give praise when you notice him/her doing them at home. For example, “It was very nice of you to show interest in your friend’s idea and follow her suggestion.”
  • Set up play dates and monitor them carefully. Keep encouraging your child to invite classmates to play at home after school. At the start, you will probably need to help out by making arrangements with other parents. You could ask the teacher’s advice on which classmates would work well with your child’s temperament. When friends are visiting, engage them in cooperative activities like building a model, baking cookies and so on. Monitor the play closely and keep the first visits short and pleasant.
  • Coach and praise social skills during peer play at home. Choose one or two behaviours you have practised alone with your child. Praise your child by describing these behaviours when you see them. For example, “I see you let Josh choose which of your trucks to play with. That was kind of you!” or, “You two are working very well together. I see you’re helping each other build that high tower.”

Keep the hope

It can be distressing for parents to see their kids struggling like this. Try to stay calm and compassionate when you speak to your child, and take heart from this: it takes time to settle into a new country and school and to make friends. During the transition period, which can take up to a year, be prepared to step in to help your child. If, despite all your efforts, your child is still unable to make new friends, consider seeking help from a professional counsellor.

 

For information as to how Relocation Africa can help you with your Mobility, Immigration, Research, Remuneration, and Expat Tax needs, email info@relocationafrica.com, or call us on +27 21 763 4240.

Sources: [1], [2]. Image sources: [1], [2].

Now more than ever, families are seeking to diversify their interests ensuring they have a plan B. The Cyprus PR program is highly attractive, through a secure real estate investment of €300,000 three generations can obtain PR permits which are valid forever. In fact Cyprus is the only European country which offers ‘permanent’ residence as there is no requirement to renew the permit. The process can be arranged remotely and we can even arrange virtual tours of the available properties, that you can enjoy from the comfort of your home, as well as conference calls to answer any questions you may have.

Investment Offer: December 2020 to January 2021

An enchanting community of stylish residences in a desirable location

Family-oriented projects Domus and The Grove enjoy a privileged location in an exclusive and quiet neighborhood.

Brand new key-ready properties.

To learn more about how Relocation Africa’s Immigration division can assist you with Cyprus residency, email us via immigration@relocationafrica.com or call us on +27 21 763 4240. To view our outbound immigration brochures, click here.

 

For information as to how Relocation Africa can help you with your Mobility, Immigration, Research, Remuneration, and Expat Tax needs, email info@relocationafrica.com, or call us on +27 21 763 4240.

Sources: [1], [2]. Image sources: [1], [2].

Moving and living in a different place from the one you grew up with can be hard and you can feel very alone away from family and friends. Or if you are contemplating relocating or have moved ages ago but still have boxes left unpacked, you might not know where to even begin looking for the right help from someone who has been in your footsteps.

Hearing stories and advice from those who have been there, done that and lost the T-shirt somewhere on the last move, is a great way to help you through the challenges moving home can bring. In the past this would have been through meeting people at an expat networking event, but today you can get expert advice before you pack your first box, from one of the many podcasts that are available. But with so many to choose from how do you find the ones that you can really connect with?

Whether you listen to them while drinking your morning coffee, on the school run/commute or walking the dog, here are some of best podcasts RelocateGuru found for you to enjoy.

1. Expat Happy Hour:

Solutions orientated coach and intercultural strategist Sundae Bean, shares practical solutions to help you adapt and succeed, find your true purpose and stay connected to those who mean the most. If you are feeling a ‘little lost’ this is an excellent place to start.

https://www.sundaebean.com/expat-happy-hour/

2. Tandem Nomads:

Amel Derragui hosts this weekly podcast sharing entrepreneurial tips and advice to turn expat career challenges into successful portable careers, so you can create your own sources of revenue and purpose. If you were thinking about starting a business I would highly recommend listening to this podcast.

https://tandemnomads.com/podcast/

3. ReloTalk:

With plenty experience as both a relocation agent and client Lindy Chapman hosts conversations with industry professionals and inspirational expats showing both sides to help inspire you in your nomadic life. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relotalk/id1540181688

4. Two Fat Expats:

With over 20 years of expat life experience Kirsty Rice and Nikki Moffit answer all those awkward questions you don’t want ask your relocation agent, from “are you a bad parent for making your child move counties?” to “would you suggest an expat prenup?” and much more.

https://www.twofatexpats.com

5. Diesel & Clooney Unpack the World:

Global friends Jerry Jones & Chris O’Shaughnessy join forces to share a comedic and thought-provoking journey around the world helping to unpack the wonderful tapestry of different cultures sharing stories and fun.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/diesel-and-clooney-unpack-the-world/id1536225148

6. Mindful Expat:

Dana Nelson PhD presents her weekly podcast focusing on improving your emotional wellbeing and resilience for living abroad with insights and expert interviews on topics related to mindfulness, self-compassion, self-care and personal growth.

http://www.dananelsoncounseling.com/mindful-expat-podcast/

7. The Expat Career & Lifestyle:

Dominicka Miernik hosts her monthly podcast sharing a mix inspirational stories from expat entrepreneurs and tips for starting your business or changing your career abroad.

https://dmcoaching.eu/podcast/

8. A Culture Story:

Megan Norton grew up moving around the world, shares cross-cultural conversations with her guests’ stories about their cross cultural experiences, which can be messy, embarrassing, funny but always honest. This aims to broaden our understanding and see different perspectives. Because when we listen and understand each others stories we can connect in a much deeper way. https://adultthirdculturekid.com

9. The Thriving Abroad Podcast:

Louise Wiles shares practical tips and advice for expats with interviews with expats and relocation experts sharing their insights and lessons to help make your transition easier.

https://www.thrivingabroad.com/expat-podcast/

10. Ben There:

Growing up abroad Ben Voegele knows the struggles of feeling from everywhere and nowhere and with his webcast aims to share the deep conversations and tell the life stories of how living abroad has impacted the lives of his guests. The goal is to unite and appreciate diversity of all kinds. https://benthere.org or watch on YouTube here.

 

For information as to how Relocation Africa can help you with your Mobility, Immigration, Research, Remuneration, and Expat Tax needs, email info@relocationafrica.com, or call us on +27 21 763 4240.

Sources: [1], [2]. Image sources: [1], [2].

A federal judge has declared the current US administration violated the law when it published two regulations in October to restrict H-1B visas. The plaintiffs – businesses and universities led by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce – argued economic data, the administration’s long delay and other factors showed “good cause” did not exist for Trump officials to bypass standard rulemaking procedures. A judge agreed.

“Defendants failed to show there was good cause to dispense with the rational and thoughtful discourse that is provided by the APA’s [Administrative Procedure Act] notice and comment requirements,” wrote U.S. District Judge Jeffrey S. White in an order on December 1, 2020. “Accordingly, the Court concludes that Plaintiffs are entitled to judgment in their favor on their first two claims for relief, and the Court sets aside the Rules on the basis that they were promulgated in violation of [the law].”

What does the judge’s decision mean? First, the opinion is binding nationwide and not limited to one geographic region or group of plaintiffs, said Paul Hughes of McDermott Will & Emery, the lead counsel for plaintiffs in the Chamber lawsuit. He made the comments in a Facebook Live session hosted by attorney Greg Siskind.

Second, the ruling is for summary judgment. “That means we have a final judgment that sets aside these two rules, both the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and Department of Labor (DOL) rules in their entirety are now set aside by order of Judge White,” said Hughes. He noted the administration could choose to appeal or ask for a stay, but he was confident in the “power of the ruling.”

He and others will watch how the Department of Labor addresses the issue of wage determinations for H-1B visa holders and employment-based immigrants. Companies have been required to use the much higher wage requirements contained in the DOL regulation since it was issued. Greg Siskind expects the Department of Labor quickly to “flip the switch” and return to the prevailing wage determinations in effect before the new wage rule.

The DOL rule took effect on October 8, 2020, and the DHS rule would have been effective December 7, 2020. Judge White’s ruling vacates both regulations.

During the November 23rd hearing, Paul Hughes said of the regulations: “We think this is an overt attempt to destroy the H-1B program.” In declarations, company executives and university personnel said the DHS rule would cause data scientists, software engineers, medical personnel and others to leave the United States. Many international students would not qualify under the DHS rule or would be priced out of the labor market by the DOL regulation, argued attorneys and employers.

The oral arguments on November 23, 2020, before Judge White foreshadowed the victory for businesses and universities. Plaintiffs’ attorney Paul Hughes drove home the high number of vacancies and the low unemployment rate in computer occupations (in research from the National Foundation for American Policy), the 6-month delay for publishing the regulations since the height of national unemployment in April 2020, and the administration’s questionable justifications for publishing the DHS and DOL H-1B regulations without allowing for public comment.

An analysis of the oral arguments concluded businesses had a good chance of prevailing: “On behalf of the plaintiffs, Paul Hughes appeared to make the stronger legal and factual arguments.” Judge White shared that belief.

“Plaintiffs . . . argue the Court must consider how the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting unemployment in the type of jobs held by H-1B workers and contend Defendants’ analysis is too broad,” wrote Judge White in his decision. “The Court finds Plaintiffs have the better argument. The good cause exception is to be narrowly construed, and, in light of that standard, the Court concludes it is appropriate to focus on how the pandemic is impacting domestic unemployment for the types of positions held by H-1B workers.”

Hughes argued at the hearing that DHS and DOL failed in their rules to connect the H-1B visa category to the coronavirus-related economic problems. He cited a National Foundation for American Policy (NFAP) analysis, which found, “The U.S. unemployment rate for individuals in computer occupations stood at 3.5% in September 2020, not changed significantly from the 3% unemployment rate in January 2020 (before the pandemic spread in the U.S.).”

Judge White wrote, “The statistics presented regarding pandemic-related unemployment still indicate that unemployment is concentrated in service occupations and that a large number of job vacancies remain in the areas most affected by Rules: computer operations which require high-skilled workers.” During his oral argument and in a declaration, Hughes pointed to an NFAP analysis that found over 655,000 active job vacancy postings advertised online in computer occupations in the United States as of October 2, 2020.

At the November 23, 2020, hearing, the best response the Trump administration attorney could offer is that the DHS rule showed the unemployment rate was higher in the Professional and Business Services sector. Hughes countered that argument as well. Judge White wrote: “Plaintiffs also proffer evidence that suggests DHS’s reference to rates of unemployment within the Business Services and Professional sectors does not account for the fact that ‘approximately 10% of the jobs (computer occupations with a B.S. or higher) in these sectors are in occupations similar to professionals in the H-1B category[.]’ (Hughes Decl., ¶ 17, Ex 17 (National Foundation for American Policy, NFAP Policy Brief October 2020, Employment Data for Computer Occupations for January to September 2020, at 8-9).) DHS did not counter that evidence.”

Another argument Hughes made in filings and during the November 23rd hearing the judge found persuasive: The administration’s lengthy delay in publishing the regulations belied claims the two regulations were issued to address an emergency. “Plaintiffs argue that Defendants unduly delayed in taking action and forfeited the ability to rely on the good cause exception,” wrote Judge White. “‘Good cause cannot arise as a result of the agency’s own delay’ [precedents cited] . . . Although both agencies cited to ‘skyrocketing’ and ‘widespread’ unemployment rates as a basis to find ‘immediate’ action was necessary, they did not do so for over six months.”

Judge White noted that “some semblance of the DHS Rule has been on DHS’s regulatory agenda since 2017.” He also pointed out the administration previewed the Department of Labor “adjust[ing] the wage scale” for H-1B visa holders during an April 2017 briefing on its “Buy American and Hire American” executive order. The judge affirmed the plaintiffs’ argument in another area: The administration “issued a number of proposed rules unrelated to the Covid-19 pandemic” between March and October 2020. “From that, it is reasonable to conclude Defendants are not entitled to a presumption of urgency,” wrote Judge White.

He cited in his opinion another area where the administration’s rhetoric and actions did not match: “The Court also finds it significant that, although each Rule allows for post-promulgation comments, Defendants did not suggest in the Rules – or at oral argument – that they are intended to be a temporary solution until the ‘emergency situation has been eased by [their] promulgation[.]’ Without any consultation with interested parties about the impact on American employers, DHS and DOL made changes to policies on which Plaintiffs and their members have relied for years and which are creating uncertainty in their planning and budgeting.” Judge White was also not persuaded the Department of Labor needed to publish its wage rule immediately to prevent employers from filing labor condition applications to get a lower wage determination.

The decision in U.S. Chamber of Commerce et al. v. DHS et al. has far-reaching consequences, the most important of which may be its impact on future administrations. Analysts note the Trump administration has been hostile toward high-skilled immigration for the past four years. The failure to make these H-1B regulations permanent means it will be much easier for future administrations to adopt more neutral or even welcoming policies toward high-skilled foreign nationals, including international students.

 

For information as to how Relocation Africa can help you with your Mobility, Immigration, Research, Remuneration, and Expat Tax needs, email info@relocationafrica.com, or call us on +27 21 763 4240.

Sources: [1], [2]. Image sources: [1], [2].